Use the Iceberg Model for Impactful Communication

Think of communication as an iceberg. Only the top 10% is visible in terms of the words we speak, the data we share, and the behaviors we demonstrate.

However, beneath the surface lies a much larger portion, consisting of fears, limitations, emotional needs, positive intentions, assumptions, values and beliefs. This constitutes the invisible (yet more powerful) 90% at play.

If you’ve ever been part of a conversation that felt loud due to what wasn’t being said, you’ve likely witnessed the iceberg first-hand. Masterful communicators understand that their conversation outcomes rely heavily on how well the ‘invisible 90%’ is handled.

They deepen the conversation from the visible to what lies beneath by moving away from:

• what they ‘say and do’ to what they ‘think and feel’
• differing ‘points of view’ to deeper ‘positive intentions’
• focusing on the ‘conflict’ to identifying ‘common goals’

Simply put, it means shifting the focus of the conversation from the problem at hand to the person in front of you.

In crucial conversations, there are as many icebergs in the room as there are people, each bringing their own emotional baggage and psychological distortions into the discussion. Learning to become aware of this and communicating accordingly is one of the most critical skills for leaders today, helping them build psychological safety for their teams and gaining stakeholders’ buy-in for their initiatives.

So the next time you are having an important discussion, ask yourself “How deep down the iceberg is this conversation?” This above all else will let you know whether you are getting to the heart of the matter and engaging in truly meaningful dialogue.