Give Feedback That Inspires Change

What is your relationship with giving feedback?

If you’re like most people, you probably prefer getting a root canal to delivering a stern ‘improve-or-else’ message to a chronic non-performer.

The common misconception here is that one can’t be both empathetic and strict – that Relationships and Results are two separate, mutually exclusive ends of a spectrum.

Kim Scott in her book ‘Radical Candor’ challenges this belief and discusses how one can be both a results-driven boss and a humane one, by striking the right balance between caring and challenging. She identifies 4 quadrants of feedback styles

· Radical Candor: Showing empathy and concern while also being straightforward and setting high expectations

· Obnoxious Aggression: Direct feedback without empathy, which can come across as harsh or unkind.

· Ruinous Empathy: Caring too much or too much sugar-coating so much that the core message is lost and performance issues continue.

· Manipulative Insincerity: Neither caring nor challenging, giving insincere feedback or avoiding necessary feedback conversations altogether

Irrespective of your natural feedback style, you can improve at practicing Radical Candor. Here’s how:

Build Trust

Establishing trust and rapport is the first step to radical candor. This involves active listening, showing empathy, and being approachable. Think of trust like the connection strength between a telecom tower and a cellphone. Ask yourself, “How strong is my connection with each team member?” and “What do I need to do to make it stronger?”

Trust is built over time, so patience and persistence are key. Tailor your communication to each person’s preferences: direct or indirect, formal or informal, in-person or virtual, scheduled reviews or regular check-ins, and positive reinforcement or constructive criticism.

Be Direct to Deliver Effective Feedback

The goal of feedback is future learning. If there’s no change or growth, the feedback didn’t resonate. Here are some tips to increase acceptance of the feedback:

Be specific: Focus on specific behaviors and outcomes, highlighting the impact on the team or project.
Be data-driven: Share relevant data and ask what patterns they see or what actions they’d like to take.
Be timely: Provide feedback as soon as possible to ensure relevance.
Be considerate yet clear: Show you care about their growth with statements like, “I want to see you grow in your career. This issue needs to be corrected now.”
Be curious: Empower the individual by asking questions like, “What are you learning from this?” or “What will you do differently next time?”

Model the Behavior by Encouraging Open Communication

Lead by example by practicing radical candor in your interactions. Show vulnerability and be open to receiving feedback yourself by asking, “What would you like me to do differently?” This fosters a culture where feedback flows both ways, encouraging team members to share their perspectives and concerns.

Striking the right balance between caring and challenging can be difficult but it is essential for effective feedback. Radical Candor, when applied consciously, can transform work relationships and drive team success. By caring personally and challenging directly, leaders can create an environment of high performance, increased trust and collaboration, and continuous learning and growth within the team.