Hack Your Self-Confidence

Think of an upcoming event that’s leaving you feeling anxious, worried or stressed.

Think about what you are feeling right now.

What would you like to feel instead?

What if you could choose your emotions – pretty much like deciding what clothes to wear each day to work?

Any emotional state, be it confidence, excitement or happiness, is caused by interactions between your thinking patterns and your physiology – the mind-body connect so to speak. Changing either of these can impact your state; and the ability to manage and choose emotions is an important skill for achieving goals and living fulfilling lives.

So, read on for the top psychology-based hacks for a more confident you…

1. Strike a Powerpose

Have you noticed the way rockstars enter the stage? Or TV talk show hosts, motivational speakers and even spiritual gurus? One common element you’d find is that they hold an expanded pose, with arms outstretched and taking up quite a bit of space!

They’ve cracked the simplest secret to hacking self-confidence – putting your body into wide, expansive stances. We know that the way we feel reflects in the way we carry our bodies. Surprisingly, it turns out that the way we carry ourselves also has a reverse impact on the way we feel!

Amy Cuddy, social psychologist at Harvard University found that power-posing increases the confidence hormone testosterone, while lowering the stress hormone cortisol. So the next time that you are going in for that performance discussion or negotiating with a tough client, try holding a power-pose beforehand.

2. Listen to a high-powered song

Music has long since been known to be a mood-changer. If you’ve been moved to tears by a soulful ballad or feeling pumped-up at the gym thanks to that high-powered song, you know what we’re talking about.

Researchers at Northwestern University suggest that listening specifically to heavy-bass songs are very impactful for a quick confidence boost. This might have you downloading “We will rock you” by Queen or “In da club” by 50 cent, but you can go with whatever song works for you…irrespective of bass level or genre.

Seriously, don’t just take our word for it. Try it out and see. All you need are a few minutes and a pair of earphones!

3. Visualization

Sometimes all you need to feel more confident is to take a trip down memory lane to a moment of achievement. Our brains display the same electro-chemical activity in the same brain areas, irrespective of whether we visualize something or experience it in reality. Simply put, the brain does not know the difference between what’s real and what’s imagined!

So, think of a time when you felt victorious and fearless. Close your eyes and relive that

moment. Look at all the images in your mind’s eye, listen to all the sounds and focus on the strong feelings of confidence and power that this memory evokes. Feels pretty good, right? And all it took was 3 minutes and a little bit of privacy.

4. Mind your language!

Who is the person that talks to you the most? That’s right…You!

What we tell ourselves and more importantly the words we use have a huge impact on the way we think and feel. Using words like ‘disaster’, ‘terrible’ or ‘hopeless’ activates the body’s stress response. This in turns leads to a vicious cycle of unhelpful thoughts, feelings and behavior.

Give this activity a shot. The next time you are inclined to use words like “impossible” or “dreadful”, try using lower intensity words instead such as “challenging”, “disappointing” or “definitely needs more work”. Similarly, consciously choose to use high intensity positive words such as “excited” and “happy” instead of “doing ok” or “fine” and you can see how it changes the way it makes you feel!

Tony Robbins called this transformational vocabulary and it’s not just a fantastic confidence hack, it’s also a great life skill to build!

5. Invent your Alter Ego

How does the mild-mannered, sometimes-clumsy Clark Kent become a super-strong and confident Superhero? Well, surely it’s not just a change in costume?

Using alter-ego personalities for a confidence boost is extremely effective. The idea is simple: whenever you feel you are not as confident as you’d like to be, make up an aspirational alter ego and give him/her the characteristics that you think you lack – that assertive talk, that confident swagger and the self-assured body language. And then simply step into their shoes – a little bit of enactment and role-playing – till it rubs off onto you.

Celebrities do it all the time. Beyonce invented a more aggressive and glamorous on-stage persona called Sasha Fierce …right until she decided she did not need Sasha Fierce anymore!

As Amy Cuddy says “Fake it not only till you make it, but till you become it”

So, go with whichever techniques appeal to you. Give it a shot and ask yourself “How is that daunting client presentation or sales meeting looking now?”