Hack Your Self-Confidence
Think of an upcoming event that’s leaving you feeling anxious,…
What is your relationship with change?
Do you embrace it quickly, resist it for as long as you can, or find yourself caught somewhere in the middle? No matter which camp you fall into, one truth remains: change is never just about logistics – it’s also about emotions.
This is why the Kübler-Ross Change Curve is so powerful. Originally called the Grief Curve, it outlined the five stages people move through when dealing with the loss of a loved one: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Over time, the model began to be applied to many forms of change, not just loss of life.
Because in essence, all change carries some form of grief:
The loss of routines you were used to
The loss of familiar spaces
The loss of “what could have been” if things had stayed the same
Whether it’s a new job, a promotion, becoming a parent, children leaving home, or even shifting to a different way of working, each transition has endings, messy middles, and fresh beginnings. And navigating that can feel overwhelming.
That’s where the 5S Model comes in. It offers five practical, gentle anchors to help you manage transitions – at work and in life – with more clarity and calm.
Before rushing into the future, pause to honour what you’re leaving behind. This doesn’t mean getting stuck in nostalgia, but taking a moment to appreciate the memories, experiences and lessons that got you here.
At work: If you’re moving into a new role, thank your current team for their collaboration. Share highlights of what you’ve achieved together. Something as simple as a farewell lunch, a thank-you note or a reflection exercise can provide closure.
In life: If your children are leaving home, create a ritual – perhaps looking through old photos, sharing stories, or hosting a family dinner before they head off.
Savouring the past is about celebrating the journey so far. It gives you emotional closure and helps you carry the best of your experiences forward.
Change can feel chaotic because it often blurs the lines of control. Scope is about drawing those lines clearly:
What can I control?
What can I influence?
What must I simply accept?
At work: During a merger or restructuring, you may not control reporting lines, but you can control how you show up for your team and influence how supported they feel.
In life: If you’re navigating a health challenge, you may not control the diagnosis, but you can control your lifestyle choices and influence your stress levels through routines and mindset.
When you get clear on scope, overwhelm reduces. You stop pouring energy into what’s out of your hands and focus on what you can control.
Change shakes up routines, and that can feel destabilising. Rituals are like handrails – they give you something steady to hold on to.
At work: Start your day with a 10-minute planning ritual, or end it by jotting down 3 wins and 3 priorities for tomorrow. These rituals anchor you even when the bigger picture feels uncertain.
In life: Ground yourself in small, steady acts – morning meditation, an evening walk, or winding down with a cup of tea and a book. These daily anchors bring comfort and predictability.
The power of rituals lies in their simplicity. They remind you that even amidst upheaval, some things remain consistent.
Humans are wired for connection, yet many of us hesitate to ask for help during transitions. Support is about letting others in – practically and emotionally.
At work: Lean on mentors for guidance, ask peers how they managed similar changes, or simply debrief with a trusted colleague. Collective wisdom makes the unknown feel less daunting.
In life: Reach out to friends, family, or even support groups. Sometimes you need practical help – like someone watching the kids. Other times, it’s just a listening ear.
Remember: seeking support isn’t a sign of weakness, but a way of lightening the emotional load.
Transitions often demand more of us. Which makes self-care not just a nice-to-have, but a must-have!
At work: Protect your energy by setting boundaries – say no when needed, block focus time, and take short breaks between meetings.
In life: Keep up with habits that nurture you – exercise, journaling, music, hobbies, or simply giving yourself permission to rest.
Self-care is how you refill your tank so you can handle the challenges that change brings with it.
In Closing:
Every transition has three parts: the ending, the messy middle, and the beginning. Use the below 5 questions from the 5S Model to help you move through each stage with steadiness:
✅ Savour the past: ‘How can I celebrate and honour what was?’
✅ Scope of Power: ‘What can I control or influence? What must I simply accept?’
✅ Stability Rituals: ‘What daily actions or simple practices can ground me?’
✅ Support Circles: ‘Who can I reach out to for help and suggestions?’
✅ Self-care: ‘How can I take care of myself physically, emotionally and mentally?’
So the next time you’re in the midst of change, remember this: change isn’t only about what you’re moving to. It’s about how you’re moving through.
Think of an upcoming event that’s leaving you feeling anxious,…
Few people can handle constructive criticism with ease and grace!…
